I loved the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers as a kid. Every day, I fought the rabbit ears on my black and white television to follow the series. I had the toys, I saw the movie, and I even wore a t-shirt once before becoming thoroughly aware that the Power Rangers were no longer cool in third grade. As I walked away with misty eyes from my childhood jeering, I couldn’t believe how quickly the acceptance for these helmeted heroes evaporated. Within the span of a year, the Rangers went from awesome to uncool, as they soared through the thin window of youthful tolerance. Thanks to its childish presentation and an erratic difficulty curve, this is a problem shared by Collision Studios’ Brave: A Warrior’s Tale.

Most aspects of the game aren’t what a gaming enthusiast would consider good, or even adequate. The important thing to realize is that Brave just isn’t for them, and conversely, neither is this review. This review is for parents who can hardly finish reading this paragraph because their child is wailing in the background, and quite possibly about to throw a pudding cup at the monitor. That parent will want to know if Brave will keep the little bast- err... bundle of love quiet long enough to justify the game’s $30 price. Unfortunately, several factors prevent Brave from earning this blanket recommendation.

The story of Brave: A Warrior’s Tale is standard fare for entertainment of this sort. Native American village chieftain Brave insists that all of the tribe’s children sit in a circle and listen to him recount his past – because this is what old people do. Once his tale begins, the player takes control of a younger Brave to play through the elder’s adolescent adventures. The game’s story continues with predictable betrayals and atonements that will bore anyone with a decent amount of body hair.

Brave’s visuals are simple, yet expressive. Characters are comically deformed, and likely to capture the interest of players too young to know what bump mapping is. Environments, on the other hand, are blank and featureless. The game offers minimal background detail or ground clutter, and does little to visually draw the player into the natural outdoorsy Native American wonderland it tries to create.